lately i've just been very about DA entirely. so, based off the advise of a friend, i'm just going to delete all deviations and journals of everyone on my list and go through them when i care. because it isn't fair to the many people i watch that i have basically 800 deviations that i don't want to go through. when my interest and time increase, i'll go through their pages and read and fav what i want. so don't be surprised when suddenly you see i have like 20 favs/collects on stuff. i'll still add a few more chapters of PMF soon.

i live in Nevada, and for those of you who haven't heard, our Governor suggested a 49% budget cut to higher education. this basically means that most of the colleges have to go away. plus, i failed 2 classes last semester, and now i'm either on academic warning or academic probation. which means i have this semester to bring my GPA (grade point average) above a 2.0 or i'm kicked out of the dorms, and eventually get restricted on which classes i can take and how many classes i can take, plus i have to go to meeting to regain a scholarship that i lost, my father accused me of spending too much money on textbooks, i'm running out of money to pay for college, i'm still waiting to take tests to find out whether or not i'm dyslexic or not (i believe i am, but until i'm documented, i can't get help). plus i have been to just one week of class and already i feel behind in math. i have Math 181, or Calculus for nonNevada college students who are reading this. i recently changed medication to prevent migraines, and one of the side-efffects is tingling, which i have gotten sometimes. not good.

plus someone decided that it would be a good idea for it to be winter now. i like winter. it's the cold i don't like. as long as i'm inside and the cold is outside, i'm happy, but i can't do that. i'm taking 16 credits this semester, with several classes in weird buildings.
i have biology in the knowledge center (library), math in the education building, math lab/discussion in the business building, religion in the Agriculture building, someone i know has geology in the nursing building. Why this happens i have no idea.

in case my life wasn't bad enough, i am like the world's lightest sleeper. my phone, which was one my desk AND set on vibrate, had a text message. i, asleep after being awake all night and having classes, woke up. i thought that i had finally slept through a text message, only to find out, that the phone vibrating on my desk woke me up. my roommate, typed on her keyboard, and woke me up from my deep sleep.
and of course, i am a person who loves being alone. i can only handle being around people for so long before i say "enough, go away, leave me alone." being on a college campus obviously allows for much of this. *note sarcasm* so, like a normal person, i seek refuge from the world in my world. but unlike most people, when the worst of the "attacks" hit, someone even being in the same room bothers me. so you see my problem in that i have a roommate. who never leaves. i cannot ask her to leave without sounding mean, especially since she has a sprained ankle, so i leave. but now i feel like i have been kicked out of my room. but you see, it was originally my room. i did her a favor and offered my room. for like 2 months it was MY room. and i liked it that way. i could dance around in my underwear if i wanted. (i never did, but it was an option) i could come in, close the door, blast my music, and unload, and be good, and be able to be around people and not be a monster, but this option has been taken away from me. and although mentally i know that i have a roommate, and it isn't MY room, it's MY ROOM. i must always be on my best behavior for at any moment she may enter and question and laugh at what i am doing (whether it is helping me de-stress or not, doesn't matter, it looks strange, and therefore is deserving of mockery). plus i must keep my stuff on one half of the room and be somewhat neat. i wouldn't have it a complete mess, but i'm more comfortable with a "lived-in" look. i never seem to get enough "alone time" to satisfy my loner side. i need like a good long weekend by myself, but that isn't going to happen, because whenever i go somewhere, she follows. i think i might be ok with a weekend with friends if she wasn't there. but i've noticed that when i go, she goes. when i stay home, she stays home. it's creepy. it's like the weird relative who never goes home even though he's over-stayed his welcome and everyone knows it, but everyone is too polite to tell him to go away.



so that is what is going on in my screwed-up, messed-up, crazy, mixed-up world. that is nothing compared to my head. random quote of the day: Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!