lately i've just been very about DA entirely. so, based off the advise of a friend, i'm just going to delete all deviations and journals of everyone on my list and go through them when i care. because it isn't fair to the many people i watch that i have basically 800 deviations that i don't want to go through. when my interest and time increase, i'll go through their pages and read and fav what i want. so don't be surprised when suddenly you see i have like 20 favs/collects on stuff. i'll still add a few more chapters of PMF soon.

i live in Nevada, and for those of you who haven't heard, our Governor suggested a 49% budget cut to higher education. this basically means that most of the colleges have to go away. plus, i failed 2 classes last semester, and now i'm either on academic warning or academic probation. which means i have this semester to bring my GPA (grade point average) above a 2.0 or i'm kicked out of the dorms, and eventually get restricted on which classes i can take and how many classes i can take, plus i have to go to meeting to regain a scholarship that i lost, my father accused me of spending too much money on textbooks, i'm running out of money to pay for college, i'm still waiting to take tests to find out whether or not i'm dyslexic or not (i believe i am, but until i'm documented, i can't get help). plus i have been to just one week of class and already i feel behind in math. i have Math 181, or Calculus for nonNevada college students who are reading this. i recently changed medication to prevent migraines, and one of the side-efffects is tingling, which i have gotten sometimes. not good.

plus someone decided that it would be a good idea for it to be winter now. i like winter. it's the cold i don't like. as long as i'm inside and the cold is outside, i'm happy, but i can't do that. i'm taking 16 credits this semester, with several classes in weird buildings.
i have biology in the knowledge center (library), math in the education building, math lab/discussion in the business building, religion in the Agriculture building, someone i know has geology in the nursing building. Why this happens i have no idea.

in case my life wasn't bad enough, i am like the world's lightest sleeper. my phone, which was one my desk AND set on vibrate, had a text message. i, asleep after being awake all night and having classes, woke up. i thought that i had finally slept through a text message, only to find out, that the phone vibrating on my desk woke me up. my roommate, typed on her keyboard, and woke me up from my deep sleep.
and of course, i am a person who loves being alone. i can only handle being around people for so long before i say "enough, go away, leave me alone." being on a college campus obviously allows for much of this. *note sarcasm* so, like a normal person, i seek refuge from the world in my world. but unlike most people, when the worst of the "attacks" hit, someone even being in the same room bothers me. so you see my problem in that i have a roommate. who never leaves. i cannot ask her to leave without sounding mean, especially since she has a sprained ankle, so i leave. but now i feel like i have been kicked out of my room. but you see, it was originally my room. i did her a favor and offered my room. for like 2 months it was MY room. and i liked it that way. i could dance around in my underwear if i wanted. (i never did, but it was an option) i could come in, close the door, blast my music, and unload, and be good, and be able to be around people and not be a monster, but this option has been taken away from me. and although mentally i know that i have a roommate, and it isn't MY room, it's MY ROOM. i must always be on my best behavior for at any moment she may enter and question and laugh at what i am doing (whether it is helping me de-stress or not, doesn't matter, it looks strange, and therefore is deserving of mockery). plus i must keep my stuff on one half of the room and be somewhat neat. i wouldn't have it a complete mess, but i'm more comfortable with a "lived-in" look. i never seem to get enough "alone time" to satisfy my loner side. i need like a good long weekend by myself, but that isn't going to happen, because whenever i go somewhere, she follows. i think i might be ok with a weekend with friends if she wasn't there. but i've noticed that when i go, she goes. when i stay home, she stays home. it's creepy. it's like the weird relative who never goes home even though he's over-stayed his welcome and everyone knows it, but everyone is too polite to tell him to go away.



so that is what is going on in my screwed-up, messed-up, crazy, mixed-up world. that is nothing compared to my head. random quote of the day: Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!

well, surgery was a success. i can already eat stuff that i couldn't before. it's been over a week, and i can almost stand up fully. i'm still a little hunched over, and i get tired really quickly. school will start the 20th, and i should be ready for it. this was my first time on the computer since my surgery, and i'm feeling much better. i have a few scars left, but they should fade with time. i don't want to go back to school because i like being on break much better.

wow. this has been my first short journal in a long time.

my Christmas was great, and i'm sorry it left so soon.

yes that's right, the evil finals are coming up for me. next week in fact. so i've been studying and to tell you the truth, i've been kinda eh about DA. i still love it, but i don't really feel like going through my 145 devs and 338 messages.

Math: have to repeat, cause i don't get Calc. hopefully next semester will be better cause i have tutor all set up already. yay!

NRES: fun. we've watched a few movies, and learned about climate change and the arctic and the stuff that's been going on with the fisheries. two words: vegetarian sushi. that's where we're headed.

Astronomy: mega ec points for watching movies. and i love finding out about the solar system.

Bio: kinda hard cause of all the little stuff that happens, and they all have a name, and i have to remember them all.

Chem: done with lab! finally!

sorry i haven't posted much. i got a roomie and i've been kinda avoiding her, and by extension my room for a while.

i at last got to register for next semester classes. i'm a sophmore in college, which means that i have to wait a loooong time before it will let me register, plus my name is at the end of the alphabet which puts the time later.

Christmas! i can't wait! my last final is Wed. 17, and i've found someone who can take me home, but the sad news is that i might have to stay a few days extra here, oh well. the first monday i'm home, i have a doctor's appointment about when he'll do the surgery for my gall bladder and i'll be all better. sadly, it probably won't be until January, but that's why i'm glad i get a month off for Winter Break.

i will get the next couple of chapters of PMF up before i leave for home, cause until i either get internet on my laptop or i return to college, i won't submit anything. i don't really feel like saving something to a flashdrive, download it onto the family computer, then posting that. it just seems like a lot of work, that i'd really not do.

license isn't going to happen till next semester, which sucks. but the one good point is that the person whose car i've been using will be 21, so we don't need to have anyone else in the car, which will make it easier to get me the practice. i just need to fix a few things, mostly stuff dealing with getting used to a car.

i've gotten my ears pierced for the first time, and now i've passed the 6 wk mark so i can put in other studs. it has to be studs until April, but i'm ok with that.

one sucky thing about this diet, is that nothing i eat requires much chewing, so i think i might be losing muscle in my jaw. cause my jaw gets tired from chewing a lot faster now than it did before.

saw Twilight. found it hysterical. so many lines that when read are thought to be profound or serious or wonderful, but when heard spoken seems like the funniest thing you've heard in your life. my friends and i were laughing throughout basically the entire movie. both of us are Team Jacob; not for Bella, but for us; and there was just so much in that movie that was funny. i highly recommend it to anyone who needs a laugh.


so, yeah. that's basically what's going on in my life right now.

he he he he he he he he. sorry. i got the idea off of someone else's journal. she was talking about internet drama, and used the quote, and i was just "i gotta use that for a journal title"

school has been kinda crappy lately.
Math: i get the right answer and get points taken off because i didn't go the route that the TA wanted. i'm just WTF?! it's like an art teacher saying "draw a tree", so i do the traditional cloudy-thing for branches, with the straight lines for the trunk, add in sky and grass, and turn it in. then i get it back and i have points off because she wanted a pine tree. and i'm just like, what the? you said draw a tree, not draw a pine tree. whatever. i don't listen to the TA anyway. we turn in our homework, then he goes over the lecture that we heard the day before.
Chem: boring. he goes v.e.r.y. slow so that the people who have no idea what's going on get it, and we go over the same point like 5 times because people ask like the exact same question as the person before them.
NRES211: a little depressing, but very awesome. it's depressing cause it's kinda like....here was this wonderful planet, then Humans came and messed it up. but i find it totally cool, cause i'm learning all about different stuff with animals and their habitats and stuff. i really like biology and science and stuff, but when i learn about this kind of thing, i'm just more like "there's no way there's no God." because i'm just, really, all this stuff that's going on with our planet, and all the stuff that goes on that we have no idea about, and it was an accident? no way. got have some kind of plan, some Bigger Being. i chose to believe it's God.
Astronomy: AWESOMENESS!! i LOVE this class. it's just so awesome learning about the planets and all the stuff in space. XD
Bio: eh. i'm learning a bunch, but it's not the funnest, but it's still pretty cool learning about what's going on inside of me even if i don't fully understand everything that's going on in the class.
i don't get to see my friends as much as i'd like to, the weather is getting colder, and school work just keeps on coming.
i've been getting up at 5am to climb stairs for 20 min cause i really need to get into shape, and my friend and i were like "why pay for a gym membership when all the equipment that they have, is part of our campus, that we can do for free?"

there's a blood drive for our school coming next week, but i'm having trouble finding people who would be willing to help me get back to my room afterward. i get kinda loopy after i give blood, and they tell you not to go to the bathroom alone or climb stairs, but in order to get back to my room, i have to climb a bunch of stairs. i really don't trust myself to be able to get from the student union all the way back to my dorm by myself. oh well. i'll hopefully find someone.

my diet sucks! i can eat very little, and i feel bad when people have to go out of their way to find me something. plus i'm just like "I CAN EAT NOTHING!" i mean i can have veggies, but there are some that are on the no-no list, apples (which i can't find), grapes (bad as apples), lemons, and filtered/purified water. i get a really bad stomach ache whenever i eat something i shouldn't, but i've been having trouble finding food that i can eat. it's like the school doesn't put out the good food until i can't have it. only until December, then my gall bladder's coming out, and i'll be able to eat again.

i'm still going to try for my license, but i only have a few friends who are 21 and have a car. i'm practicing with one friend, and when my sis comes back i'll probably practice with her car as well. once one of them deems my driving good enough, i'll sign up for the driving test. i just want to get this permit pbbt over with. once i have a license i'll be ok. i'm going to wait a few years before i try to get a car. i want a little car for two reasons. 1) i'm little. big cars are a problem for me. 2) big cars kinda scare me a little.
so a little car would be better because i would have an easier time driving it, and i wouldn't have to worry as much in a little car.

this long journal was brought to you by the internet and the mental ramblings of yours truly. if you have read all of this, i give you a plate of web brownies. yum.

i'm back! i have internet access again! yay! bad news, cause of my gall bladder issues, i'm on a strict diet. pretty much all i can eat are veggies, apples, grapes, and purified/filtered water. talk about a diet plan.
classes start tomorrow, boooo! >( but i think that some of them should be fun; at least astronomy. i got to have Calculus, Biology, Chemistry, and NRES or Natural Resources Environmental Science for my major of Wildlife Ecology and Conservation. astronomy is just for fun.
not much else going on. Oh! i'm an apprentice for InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. one of my leaders was a leader for a bible study i was in last year, and i wanted to stay with her. she's a little crazy, but awesome!